Josh Bauman/Caffeinated Toothpaste/Doodlesheep — Is there an artist alive fit to put pen to paper and capture the physical perfection that is me? The answer, obviously, is no. But if there were, that person would be Josh Bauman, a cartoonist, illustrator, and fellow beard afficionado. But most importantly, he is responsible for the godlike visage you see represented to your right. When not obsessively drawing and re-drawing my image in a vain attempt to more completely capture my glory, he chronicles his lamentably non-Shaun related affairs on Caffeinated Toothpaste, a daily diary strip. Together with noted computer artist/showbiz phony Mike, he runs Doodlesheep, a peculiar webpage dedicated to most ludicrous of imaginable scribbles.

With Bated Breasts — There are not enough breasts on this page. Not enough by half. Half enough being one. Just one breast. But there isn’t even that. So what is there? Iliana, sounding her barbaric Yawp over the roofs of the world. And what the fuck does that mean? No idea. Baffling… just fucking baffling. Gonna go Google “tits” now.